I started my 2020 telling myself that I will no longer place limitations on myself and I will no longer miss opportunities because of fear, fear that I create in my mind. I will not overthink everything and in doing so talk myself out of things I actually really want to do due to self-doubt.
And then I read Dr. Shirley Zinn's book and it's like everything clicked. It felt as if all those manifestations that I set out for myself at the beginning of this year came to life in the form of real life examples.
There are many women whom I look up to, who inspire me: Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Beyonce; because they portray strong, successful, hardworking women. But Dr. Shirley Zinn just felt that much closer to home.
Growing up in Retreat/Steenberg she lived in a council house with no bath, hand-basin or shower. She explains that from a young age she knew she wanted to move out of her situation AND take others with her, yet she also emphasizes that one should not forget their roots and where they came from.
Something that really stood out for me were the values Dr. Shirley Zinn's parents instilled in her: Continuous education, having a personal vision and living important values such as integrity, dignity, fairness and respect for others. Hard work and discipline also played a very important role. These values hold so much meaning to me because it is extremely similar, if not the same, to the values my own parents instilled and taught me. Not only in theory but as examples in the way they conduct their own lives.
Dr. Shirley Zinn went on to continue her studies, she obtained a Doctorate at Harvard University and has seen herself in many prominent positions in the corporate world. She also went through severe trauma in her personal life, this part of the book was extremely sad, but never ever stopped pushing herself and persevering. I don't want to give too much away so this is an extremely brief summary.
A part of the book that I really loved is when she makes mention of women in business and corporates. I love the fact that she encourages women to break glass ceilings, where she states that it is more difficult for women in the corporate world and yet also says that we need to acknowledge the good men around us. The men who support us and encourage our visions. I agree with this 100%!
There is a chapter in this book where Dr. Shirley Zinn speaks of self-awareness and I quote "self-awareness is another important leadership capability". I could relate to this.
I've always been more quiet. And I actually always felt bad about it and constantly fought this internal battle. People have told me be more assertive, be more vocal, they've even asked me why I'm so quiet. (I never know what to respond to this, it's actually a very silly question). It has been quite the journey getting to the point where I just started embracing it, embracing my quietness...and awkwardness. In this book Dr. Shirley Zinn mentions that she often comes across as quiet and that some may think that it's easy to sway her but she always ensures that her opinion is heard. This part inspired me and reminded me that it's ok to embrace one's quietness, however you should never allow it to hold you back from voicing your opinion. You should never allow people to change your mind regarding various topics because you're too shy or afraid to speak up. I've always shied away from conflict but it does become tiring always trying to keep the peace and avoid conflict. It is draining because you are not expressing yourself and giving your opinions a chance. My own personal journey has taught me that it's ok to voice your opinions, it's ok if people disagree. Not everyone will agree and it doesn't always have to end up in conflict.
Something that also really stood out was building meaningful relationships. I love this. In the fast paced world that we live in, it's easy getting caught up in trying to engage with many people, sometimes at the same time and you don't really get to know someone deeper than just the surface-level "stuff". It is also so easy to feel lonely even though you have access to so many people right at your fingertips. I feel it is important to build those meaningful relationships, get to know someone better, be a support structure to them and vice versa and build each other up. In a business context, something that I've learnt so far, being genuine, authentic and creating meaningful relationships is so much better than trying to be a "typical sales guy." Not only does it create opportunities for both parties but you start building unexpected friendships and the whole process becomes so much more wholesome.
This year, I've set goals for myself that seem very ambitious and I actually asked myself "why do you put yourself in these situations, you're creating your own stress", but then those manifestations come into play. I will not limit myself and I will not miss opportunities due to self-doubt or overthinking. This book has given me that extra push I needed to really focus and push ahead.
Dr. Shirley Zinn's life story has really inspired me. There are so many quotes that I would love to stick up on my wall where I am able to see it every day, as reminders that through hard work, building meaningful relationships, having visions and setting goals and by not limiting oneself, anything is possible.
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